Aughaughaugh thats how I felt for the last couple of days, why because of James. So I thought things were over but of course he called me up and we were talking for awhile and I'm like "So I was right you never showed up" to which he replies pretty much he was in the hospital because there was something wrong with his kidney's so now I feel bad for decided to break all ties. But then I told him "I have a question, what are we exactly because I'm confused as fuck and I don't like this feeling" and he tells me that he was hoping that we could talk about it this weekend and figure things out. So he has to call me after work which is going to be in like 20 mins or so. And if he doesnt call me and we dont talk things through i'm going to have to call him and do tihs over the phone because I hate this. And is it horrible that I want to be in a relationship with him??

Anyway I need to go and be nervous a little longer and I shall update you with what goes on hopefully it'll end out for the best.

R.I.P. Your Mom
June 2003- July 2007
You were a gorgeous fish, and I kinda adored you alot. You were calm when my friends would shove their hand in the bowl and try to pet you, you survived spring break 98 with no alcohol poisoning, you were kinda depressed and suicidal sometimes but I still loved you.

I have deleted my old livejournal and I decided to start over, I have matured alot but I still have loads to go. I needed a change with everything so it starts with my online diary of sorts. More will be added the more I have time which I don't have alot of right now. Right now it's pretty much about getting my life in order I have gotten accepted to pretty much all the colleges I applied to and I'm just waiting to hear back from one of them, I need to file my FAFSA, and start doing scholorship applications. I am going to paint my room my posters have been taken down, my dads table and filing cabinet aren't in my room anymore so that means more space. I'm slowly growing up I just need to get organized, it's riduclous how I ahve so much AP Government work to do it's like a never ending pile that I can never catch up with, but I'm going to start working on it now. goodbye.